8 Comments

  1. zaid818

    Dear Ibadat,

    Writing non-fiction is always an act of confidence and faith within yourself. This is because if you even misrepresent one fact, your entire piece becomes avid. However, your research was on point for this one and it made for a stylistically pleasing informative piece.
    The best part about this is your personal connection to the piece – saying how your grandparents would tell you about him. As a Pakistani Punjabi, I too hope that we can work towards tolerance and peace.
    For improvement, I would work on your conclusion. Tying it all together with a short summary of his life would be a good way to end this piece.
    Being in your class has allowed me to read your great work and see your blossom over the months: what an actual blessing!

    Sincerely,

    Zaid

    • ibadatwarring

      Hi Zaid,

      I agree with you 100%. Writing non fiction was definitely a challenge for me, because I didn’t want to let my connection to the subject convey any overwhelming bias. I definitely think I can improve on the conclusion by making it stronger- I was just out of ideas in the moment.
      I appreciate your kind words and I am glad I was able to read and learn from your incredible writing throughout the semester!

      -Ibadat

  2. unsensiblesensiblethoughts

    Dear Ibadat,
    I really enjoyed reading this piece. I am someone who doesn’t really enjoy reading non- fiction pieces as I just find them lengthy and boring. But I really liked your piece this is because it was short but it was informative, it almost didn’t feel to me that I was reading a non-fiction piece, I felt like I was watching a movie and the narrator was telling me everything.
    For improvement I can’t really think of anything as I really enjoyed reading your piece! I hope I get to read more of your work in the future and I hope you will keep writing even after the semester is over.

    Sincerely,
    Karishma

  3. khushman783

    Dear Ibbi,

    I thoroughly enjoyed this piece as it was a non-fiction piece and you had taken a different route than most of the others. I enjoyed how you had incorporated your own heritage yet again into one of your pieces of writing as it adds a little touch of personalization. I also liked that you had condensed the information and had written it in a more engaging way. As far as any errors in your writing goes i was unable to detect some.

    Sincerely,Khushman

  4. suggestedsimplicity

    Dear Ibadat,
    This was a really intriguing piece! Although I was not aware of this leader or the political tensions in the area, you clear and concise discussion of the subject matter gave me great insight into Ranjit Singh’s life story and achievements. Given that your family originates from this area, I can understand why he is a hero, as he was an effective leader during his reign. I especially liked his liberal views on culture and religion, allowing the ethnic diversity to remain – he would have fit into modern society perfectly.
    For improvement, I would suggest that you elaborate a little more on the tensions of today, and how they are a direct contrast to his way of leading. Comparison and contrast is a great way to great depth of discussion and understanding.
    All in all, I wish you the best for the next semester!
    Nazeefa

    • ibadatwarring

      Hi Nazeefa,

      Thank you so much for your kind words. I agree with you; some aspects of his leadership do show up in modern day discussions. I also understand what you mean about elaboration; the ending seems abrupt and doesn’t tie everything together. I will try working on this in the future. I wish you all the best as well.

      -Ibadat

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